In my mind, the idea of cherishing someone and having confidence in someone go hand-in-hand. To truly love someone, one must have confidence that the trust they have in that person is valid. Beyond this idea, one must then cherish the other. Let’s define the word “cherish.” To cherish something means to protect it, respect it, notice it, honor it, show gratitude for it, and hold it dear (SOURCE). All of these actions of love are ascribed to the act of cherishing. Cherishing is the fruit of love, or the evidence of love.
True confidence should be seen in a marriage. To me, internal confidence is the trusting of oneself, but in a marriage, confidence is the foundational element of trust between two people. Confidence in that you spouse is yours and your are their own. Confidence that those moments taken to cherish mean something; confidence knowning that you don’t need to worry about being rejected because you have already been accepted. Permission to cherish granted, if you will.
There is also an idea of “confidence by acceptance” from someone to you and vice versa which allows trust to manifest into something profound. Often times when I listen to a Christian song, I not only hear the application of praise towards God, but also the love between a man and woman. Christ’s love for his church is mirrored onto husband and wife. Jesus cherished us, and therefore we can have confidence and assurance of his promises. So too, as a man cherishes his wife, she can have assurance that he would never leave or forsake her. Her confidence is in the Lord for her salvation and her confidence in marriage is in her husband. In comparison, the husband’s cherishing actions should reflect that of Christ’s willingness to even die for who he loves.
Confidence can be found in the Lord first, and only then produced by continued moments of cherishing another (I’m speaking within the context of marriage).
One a side note:
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” -Ephesians 5:2
“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” -Ephesians 5:28
Wives ought to submit to their husbands in the same way they honor God. Athe same time, in unison, husbands ought to love their wife as Christ loves his church. A husband who loves his wife should love her they way he loves himself. The two become one, therefore loving her is loving the one together.
Other Notes:
- Don’t look for the one, be yourself and God will play the matchmaker.
- “The one” is God. When you are given a spouse, you become part of “the one.”
- Always pray and never trust your own understanding. That means your gut, your mind and/or your heart are all misleading. Trust God.
- Take a moment to stand still.
- Enjoy life.
- Don’t panic.